"AUTHENTIC" Iron Chef Panko.

I'm a big fan of frying things coated with panko. Panko (パン粉) is basically a type of Japanese unseasoned bread crumb. I prefer it over regular North American bread crumbs because it provides a more crispy texture, and doesn't coat as thick as the silica-texture bread crumbs.

Being a fan of buying non-perishable food items in bulk, I couldn't resist giving Costco's "IRON CHEF AUTHENTIC PANKO" a shot. Admittedly I was a little suspicious at the "authentic" panko, but after trying it on pork katsu, I'm happy to report it works.

I award this product five out of five truffles.


I've talked about the recipe before, but this time I've got pictures. I've also substituted flour with cornstarch. The cornstarch undercoat is more delicate than flour, and does a better job gluing the panko to the pork.

Recipe
1. Flatten a piece of pork. You can use a heavy skillet, or if you have bear-paws in place of hands or pent up frustration, use your hands. I prefer to work with tools, so I used a hammer. For hygienic reasons, I placed the pork in a freezer bag.

The hammer is my friend. I use it to flatten cutlets of meat,
and strike down upon my enemies with great vengeance and uh... nvamind!

2. Dust the pork (now flattened) with corn starch.

3. Crack an egg. Mix it up. Dunk the flattened pork in the egg.

4. Dunk the pork in a plate full of panko. Coat it evenly but not excessively, shake off the loose panko. Loose panko in hot oil = nasty burnt bits in the panb.

5. Fry in a pan. 

Frying.

Yum!

Japanese "Departure" Assistants are really professional.

I love foreign films. Foreign films often romanticize the "routine," which brings a fresh breathe of air to the unfamiliar/culturally different audience.

The Departures [2008] is one of these films. The film begins with the protagonist, Daigo (Masahiro Motoki), who plays an expensive cello for an orchestra in Tokyo. Life is great, it is his dream job.

Unfortunately, the orchestra doesn't make enough dough, and is dissolved (AWWWWW).

Daigo sells his expensive cello, and moves back to his hometown to live in his childhood home (left to him after the passing of his single-mother). Daigo doesn't remember what his dad looks like, because he is an ass, and left them when he was a child.

Oh I forgot to mention, he is married to a Japanese stereotypical housewife, Mika. She cooks, cleans, and basically provides martial consortium.

Anyway - he has a tough time finding a job, because the demand for cellists in Sakata is like demand for young unconnected foreign attorneys in Pittsburgh. So he responds to a job posting for "assisting departures," thinking it is some sort of travel agency job.

Nope. He is mortified to find that the gig is actually for preparing the deceased for their "departure." He doesn't embalm people, so he doesn't smell like formaldehyde (I can tell you from experience that it does smell pretty bad and stings like hell if you get it in your eye). Basically he cleans, dresses, and makeup the deceased in a ceremony that is witnessed by the decedent's family. The "departure" preparation is very much like a tea ceremony, involving slow, intentional, and delicate movements.

The "departure" assistants dress like American lawyers, only the assistants wear three-button suits, which IMO has a slimming effect for people who carry a little weight, but not suitable for fat people. That is probably why the two-button suit is more popular in North America, because people are fat. But I'm getting off topic, these people dress very well.

<cultural anthropology>
For those unfamiliar with Japanese culture, this might seem like an odd thing, but traditionally, Japanese people really dislike "unclean" things. These "unclean" things include butchering, tanning, etc... basically any job that deals with the dead.

In the old days, these jobs were reserved for people called Burakumin (部落民). Basically outcast people who would live in their own secluded ghettos. While the feudal cast system has been outlawed, you won't find too many people lining up to deal with the dead. Working in such an industry doesn't just mean you're working, but you're actually socially of a lower class.

Ok! Back to the film review!
</cultural anthropology>

Anyway, Daigo begins assisting working in the trade, but he doesn't tell his wife. Because she wouldn't understand, but likes the high-quality beef he's bringing home.

The film sort of shows Daigo slowly mastering the art of respectfully preparing the dead, and usually the decedent's relatives are extremely grateful (even if they initially are wary and annoyed at these "dirty" departure assistants).

Mika inevitably finds out about her husband's "dirty job," and leaves him when he refuses to quit the job. Daigo keeps on working, and eventually Mika comes back after learning she is pregnant (Daigo just assumes he the father, but he does seem like the gullible type).

The climax of the film basically involves Daigo being notified that his father (yes the deserting scumbag) has passed away. He initially refuses to go see his deceased father, but yields to peer pressure. With his usual role reversed, he becomes very upset when watching two amateurs "departure" assistants roughly mishandle his father's corpse. He takes over - prepares his father with precision and grace, and all is well. Awwwww. How cute.

Anyway, there are also several scenes of "normal life" - captured and romanticized for the audience. In one particular scene, Daigo visits this quaint Sentō (銭湯), a public bath, which is privately owned and operated by this elderly lady, who heats the spring bathwater with a wood fire.

The scene also gives insight to the proper Japanese bathing etiquette. A bather is supposed to wash themselves clean before entering the soaking bath. The bath is also not a swimming pool. If you have the opportunity to visit a public bath in Japan, please don't reinforce the gaijin stereotype by jumping into the bath, soaping up, and blowing bubbles. That's just not cool.

Daigo enjoying a friendly chat in a public bath.

"Moroccan" Stew with couscous.

When you mix French colonial influence with the culinary and mercantile traditions of North African Arabic culture, you get great food. I've made this particular stew combination with both beef and chicken, either way it tastes great.

Stew
        • 1 lb of protein (ground beef, ground lamb, bite sized chicken, mystery meat)
        • 2 onions (chopped)
        • 4 crushed cloves of garlic
        • 2 cups of frozen vegetables
        • 2 cans of chickpeas (drained)
        • 1/2 tsp of salt
        • 1/2 tsp of ground pepper
        • 2 tsp of ground cumin
        • 2 tsp of ground turmeric
        • 2 tsp of paprika
        • 4 cups of broth/stock (beef, chicken, or vegetable)
        • 1/4 cup of raisins


Heat a large pot. Saute the garlic with the onions until the onions are translucent and soft. Add the frozen vegetables, and saute them until the mixture is warm. Add the chickpeas, salt and all the spices. Stir.

At this point in the cooking process, you'll want to add the protein if it is something like ground beef or dark chicken meat. If you're cooking with white chicken meat (i.e. chicken tender/breast), you'll want to hold off until about 25 minutes before serving.

Add the raisins and broth/stock, and bring the pot up to a boil and simmer for approximately 30 minutes.

In the meantime, you can get started on the couscous.

Couscous
        • 2/3 tsp of salt
        • 1/3 tsp of ground turmeric
        • 1 cup of broth/stock (beef, chicken, or vegetable)
        • 3 tsp of olive oil
        • 1 cup of couscous

In a separate pot, bring the broth/stock up to a gentle boil, add the oil, salt and ground turmeric, and turn off the heat. Then add the couscous and stir. If the couscous is a little wet after a few minutes of stirring, add some more couscous. Since the stew will be served over a bed of couscous, it is better to err on the side of having couscous that is a tad bit dry.

Yum!

Dealing with Range Anxiety.

Electrical vehicles rely on motors powered by battery packs for motion. Unlike conventional fuels, one cannot just pull into a fueling station and refill the tank in a matter of minutes. This introduces the issue of Range Anxiety, the concern by the vehicle operator that the battery packs do not have sufficient energy for the vehicle to reach his/her intended destination.

The Chevy Volt deals with this by using a gasoline engine, which basically turns the Volt into a hybrid-vehicle when it is out of battery power. Unfortunately, this solution is wasteful and inefficient. Not only is the Volt constantly lugging around an internal combustion engine, it is also carrying heavy transmission components, a fuel tank, and emissions control devices (think mufflers, tailpipes, catalytic converters). All this adds up to weight, which has to be lugged around and ironically decreases its all-battery range.

When the Volt is out of electrical power, it is estimated to average less mpg than the best conventional hybrids (~37mpg), and basically match the more efficient conventional vehicles (while requiring premium gasoline). The Volt will also generate more carbon emissions than the Toyota Prius, the Volkswagen Jetta/Golf TDI, and other partial-zero emission vehicles.

So what's the better solution?

Rendering by Artistically challenged Artist.

A detachable diesel generator trailer! One which could be detached when the driver is just commuting within the range of the electric vehicle, but that could be hitched for road trip and what not that require additional distance!

A diesel generator will be able to hum along at relatively constant power load, but basically it'll be selected based on the load necessary to keep the LEAF humming along. Engineers can go figure out things like maximum power, prime power rating, load combination, and obviously emission levels. I just do concepts and make poorly rendered drawings.

Polar Bears Are Awesome.

The Canon PowerShot SX20 took this video at the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium.


Not only do they have beautiful warm fur coats, allow the environmentally conscious to file lawsuits (under the Endangered Species Act) as an attempt to control green house emissions, but they also play fight in the most cute (but also scary) way.

Surgery aka I'm a ragdoll.

I recently had to get some surgery to remove some benign tumors from my chest and abdominal wall. I had expected the procedure to take no more than one hour, some Lidocaine, and maybe dozen of stiches.

Instead, it turned into a five-hour affair involving general anesthesia, getting intubated, and going home to uh... find that the surgical staff had removed uh... body hair.

Anyway - now I have some prescription hydrocodone and my throat/trachea feels like as if someone shoved a plastic tube down to keep an open airway to my lungs (which is what happens when you get intubated).


But now I'm four tumors lighter.

Cut me open. Sew me back up. And I'm good as new.

Guy Fawkes Night.

Today is the 5th of November, Guy Fawkes Night, which has been popularized in America amongst tea party members, nerds, and silly fan boys by V for Vendetta. Now I'll admit that it was not a bad film, but these nerds/silly fan boys love to quote the following passage from the film:

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.

What these nerds don't realize is that this poem has more verses.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, 'twas his intent
To blow up the King and Parli'ment.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence [or By God's mercy] he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Hulloa boys, Hulloa boys, let the bells ring.
Hulloa boys, hulloa boys, God save the King!

A penny loaf to feed the Pope.
A farthing o' cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down.
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar.
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head.
Then we'll say ol' Pope is dead.
Hip hip hoorah!
Hip hip hoorah!

Yes. People on this side of the Atlantic are remembering the Gunpowder Plot all wrong. Guy Fawkes was not some anti-authoritarian hero. Mr. Fawkes was an anti-majoritarian, anti-Parliament, religious bigot who wanted to blow up a bunch of people to restore the Roman Pope's authority over England and Scotland.

He's the 1600s version of Timothy McVeigh. So yes, please, do celebrate his plot.