Leaving America.

It is sort of scary how long I've lived in America. I would say that just six years ago - I still found America to be very alien, foreign, and sometimes downright confusing. But overtime, slowly and surely, through the course of regular life and also the generosity of very kind people who have shared their experiences and opened their lives and homes to me, I think I've sufficiently mastered the rather marketable skill of pretending to be a natural born American citizen.

Similarly, life in Taiwan, like the time and tide, waits for no man. I'd imagine much has changed in the last six years, and I suspect it is entirely possible that I could experience culture shock at "home," and I wonder how long it would take for me to feel comfortable again.

But anyway - enough with my random musings!

I took the Port Authority bus to Pittsburgh International Airport, a perfectly nice airport that is unfortunately too large for western Pennsylvania. The 28X bus was about 6 minutes early - which can really ruin the day for someone who is not familiar with the Port Authority's customary business practices and misses their bus and possibly their fight.

Did I mention waiting for the bus made me really cold?

The bus was pretty fun. A young fella who was probably drunk got on the bus and tried to avoid the bus fare. The bus driver called him out on it and the young fella pays - but then began to curse up a storm. Then he sat down and whipped out a new smartphone (I think it was even HTC! Yay Taiwan represent!)

Anyway - so he made the bus really awkward because there was toddlers going to the airport and this smuck was saying things that would make a sailor blush. But karma is a bitch - and the young fella forgot his charger on the bus. I guess I could have said something to him - but I swear everything happened so quickly ;)

Lonely and sad micro-USB charger.

Once we got to the airport - I got up and grabbed the lost charger and handed it to the bus driver.

"I believe that young fella who was giving you a hard time left his."

*bus driver and I share a laugh*

So anyhoo - I proceeded to the bag drop area, went through security and found my gate nearly two hours ahead of schedule.

There were not a lot of people, so it was particularly odd when this (pictured below) showed up at the gate, sort of eyed everyone up, then sat down next to this Asian girl. He then kept looking at her, put his arm on the back of the seat over to try and start a conversation, and was generally quite creepy.

Creeper. He was sort of large. Thankfully he bought two seats so no one would have to sit under his arm.

But his creepiness was to my benefit because it provided amusement while we waited for our flight to Detroit   to arrive in Pittsburgh. It was a good distraction because I was a tad bit anxious at this point as I only had a little over an hour between my flight from Pittsburgh to Detroit and the connecting flight from Detroit to Tokyo.

The little plane finally arrived, and by the time we started boarding after a torturous wait for the passengers to deplane, we were thirty minutes past our scheduled departure time. Once we finally we on board - we then taxied around on the tarmac until we got to the deicing station (as it had started to snow rather heavily).

The plane landed after we had been scheduled to board.

HURRY! 

By the time we had departed, we were over an hour late and I resigned to the possibility that I would miss the flight from Detroit to Tokyo.

But I think the pilot maintained a higher cruising speed and managed to get us there with only a half hour delay. We deplaned just as my next connecting flight began boarding, so I made a mad dash from one terminal building to the other, weaving through the crowd and running up the stairs to pass people on escalators. Thankfully I made it for the flight!

Good bye America! I'll miss you!

But I'm not sad I'm leaving behind your weather.

We are all linked by our shared random queries.

Props to JanSport!

A little over decade ago - I arrived in rural Illinois with a 60 liter backpack (~15.85 gallons) and two suitcases (Ed. Note: this was back in the days when airlines didn't charge for the first or second checked in luggage - sigh). I quickly realized that lugging the 60 liter backpack around one's college campus was not really practical proposition and accepted the sad reality that I needed to spend US dollars (USD) to buy a backpack in America.

I wasn't accustomed to spending American dollars, and back then, the exchange rate was around one USD to thirty three New Taiwan dollar (NT). When one considers that the minimum wage in Taiwan at the time was about NT$65... one can easily see why a fresh off the boat kid from Taiwan would shy from spending $45 USD to buy a backpack.

Fast forward ten years...the bag began to show its age and contracted the dreaded zipper disease. The sling was also slowly separating at the seams and one of the water bottle elastic retainers had snapped. I remembered that JanSport had a lifetime warranty and sent my backpack off to its maker with a note describing the necessary repairs.

A week later I received this email:

"Thanks for being part of our history. You may not know it, but that pack you sent back for inspection recently is now part of a rich history that started way back in 1967, when our first pack hit the trail. We build our packs to last. So when one doesn't, we want to learn what went wrong. And make it better. For you and all the other people who love the outdoors as much as you do. Your pack should be home soon, better than ever. In the meantime, if you need to check on your bag, please call (800) 426-9227."

A couple more weeks later - my bag arrived in the mail, good as new with a blue bow tie - awwwwww.

JanSport really has a nice warranty service... although this makes me wonder how JanSport and its corporate sibling, "The North Face," combine to sell approximately half of all backpacks in the United States. Uh... do people just throw their backpacks away? Why not send it in for repairs and pass it on to the children and teach them how to value longevity and heirlooms?

And JanSport should consider making holsters and gun bags. The conservative folks will appreciate a good reliable bag and a honest warranty.

Arizona Adventures! (Part I)

In January, our friends invited us to join them in Gold Canyon, Arizona for a brief respite from winter in Western Pennsylvania during the President's Day weekend. Since Pittsburgh only averages about sixty clear days per annum, and that we had been in the cloudy and grey, formerly-Steel City for quite some time, we were pretty stoked about the opportunity to join our friends for a long-weekend respite from Pittsburgh.

The trip out west was very new to me. I have never been able to explore continental United States west of the Mississippi river, and I had never been in the desert, so I really didn't know what to expect.

My mind was filled with random thoughts such as... will I sunburn in the desert sun?

Would I get to ride a horse with no name?

What do people eat in the desert?

Will we encounter any criminals buying pseudoephedrine at CVS and large matches at Home Depot trying to get enough red phosphorous to cook meth in a camper van!?!

So here is a preliminary photo-essay of my findings from Arizona! 

In the desert, the sky is very clear. The moon is very beautiful.
And the evenings are cool and there is very little ambient light pollution.

This is a "cloudy" day in the Sonoran desert. Daytime temperatures while we were there did not exceed 80 °F. However, due to the low humidity, the temperature difference between standing in the sun vs. in the shade felt like at 10 degrees °F. This cactus was probably 25 feet tall and a few hundred years old.

Not a bad view to have in your backyard eh?

Green golf courses in the desert!

Made possible by dams and irrigation canals - open bodies of water is quite a peculiar sight from the air and on the ground. The air surrounding such larger bodies of water also feels cooler due to evaporative cooling.

There are some crazy and amazing geological formations. This little oasis of green and beautiful view is made possible by a small creek/river. I'd imagine after a few centuries, the stranded plant and wildlife will be rather unique.

This is a canyon next to a busy road. Very pretty - but somewhat scary too (I don't think the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has a testing protocol for Arizona canyon plunge).

The road follows the canyon through the mountain range. It was a very scenic drive on another "cloudy" day.

Crazy rock formations eh? I don't think two-dimensional pictures do the landscape justice, as it is difficult to capture the depth and sudden rise of the rock formations.

We have many more pictures from our visit, and Part II will focus on all the vegetation and other sights we captured at the Boyce Thompson Arboretum.

I don't understand fans of Andy Warhol.

About a month ago we were cordially invited by the Carnegie Museums of Pittsburgh to the Member Preview of Warhol and Cars: American Icons.

Being rather ignorant of Andy Warhol, who is apparently one the most iconic American artists and definitely the most recognized one out of Pittsburgh, I decided to go with an open mind.

This is my brief thesis on Andy Warhol. It is titled "Andy Warhol was a talented manipulative modern self-promoting artist who was fortunate enough to live in an age dominated by tasteless art critics and wealthy professional socialites.".

Here is a brief synopsis of my observations to support my thesis:

1. Andy Warhol likes to wear sunglasses indoors and while working. I think this affected his ability to see the full spectrum of colors, and therefore much of his works lacked a particular spectrum. If he wore polarized lenses, I'd imagine his work would look like something posted behind venetian blinds.
   
2. Andy Warhol aged very poorly. I didn't realized he died at a tender age of 58. He looked like he was 70. I think that's what happens when you take meth.
   
3. Andy Warhol's screen prints were pleasant to look at, but he was not much of a painter. The primary "show piece" at the event was Andy Warhol's work on a BMW M1 Art Car. His art car was one of the worst of all the BMW Art Cars.
   
4. I think he put about as much effort into that car as I hypothetically would on a notepad doodle during a long meeting (I said hypothetically because I always pay 100% attention during meetings and would never waste ink or paper on doodle).
   
5. Andy Warhol liked pictures of himself hanging out with celebs. I think Andy Warhol was more about Andy Warhol than Andy Warhol's art. Sort of like the older Picasso, only without Picasso's portfolio of talent.
   
6. I'm a people watcher and I observed there were primarily four types of people at the Member Preview.
• "The Paris Hilton" - These people were dressed and drinking as if they were clubbing. They stayed on the first floor (where the booze was being served), and never ventured up through to the seven floor of the Museum to see the art exhibition. Fortunately, these people are usually very generous with their unearned monies, and are probably what kept and keeps the artist alive and off the streets.
  
• "The Elderly Benefactor" - Older gentleman and gentlewoman holding glasses of wine and quietly amused at the scandalous stuff they help fund curate.
  
• "The Art Student" - These people were the ones sipping the complimentary bottled water, subtly but stylishly dressed, and  pleasantly conscientious of other people's sight-lines (it is pretty annoying it is for some drunk to walk in front of you while you're standing 2-3 feet away trying to look at something). Art students stand and stare and observe - for a long time.
  
• "The Perplexed Plebeian" - This is people like me. I'm admittedly uneducated in the finer things of life. I tried to keep an open mind, but as it gradually got filled with pompous crap created with little effort or skill, I couldn't help but become perplexed at Andy Warhol fans. I'm sorry - I tried, but I just don't get it.

In conclusion, I'm not sure I will be venturing back to the Andy Warhol Museum - I'd rather spend my weekend afternoons in the main Carnegie Museum of Art and marvel at realism paintings. Although in the future, I may bring little spawns to show them why they should not take meth.

Our Pilgrimage to St. Marys and Awesome Pizza!

The day after Thanksgiving our hosts took us Black Friday shopping.
For BEER at St. Mary, PA. We had heard about the "Eternal Tap" - but never had the opportunity to make our pilgrimage to the mythical place.

Here we go!

We signed in and followed the signs.

It appears that Straub dealt in milk during the prohibition?

I poured my first! As per the rules, I drank two.
Even the Mrs., who usually frowns upon beer, enjoyed the fresh brew at Straub!

They had this amazing glass washer!

Free post-Thanksgiving beer grub!

Afterwards I bought two cases of Straub's Special Dark for a whopping low price of  $17 per case! Amazing! Unfortunately the two cases will not last long, as the smooth and drinkable nature of the beer has encouraged the Mrs to steal sips from my bottle!

We also bought some functional mementos.

Beer and Pizza are very similar. Both utilize yeast, water, and sugars to make beautiful and tasty things. While most pizzerias can control for the quality of their dry ingredients (i.e. flour, salt and sugar), the majority have to make do with the water they have.

Brockway, PA is situated in the Allegheny Highlands and enjoys clean soft water (for now anyway). For some perspective, if you're living in Pittsburgh, you're probably drinking Brockway sewage that has more additional mineral content picked up during its journey south. Yeast does not like minerals (it especially does not like salts).

So it is really not a surprise that Paesano Pizza in Brockway, PA has the best pizza I've ever tasted outside of New York City. 


Basically - the Allegheny Highlands present the perfect resources for the production of good pizza and beer! Saccharomyces cerevisiae you rock!

I forgot to take a picture before we ate half the pizza. Rest assured it was very good.

An American Thanksgiving.

In past years, we've had rather unconventional Thanksgiving meals with fellow diaspora students and we had served protein like Cornish game hens, drumsticks, and ribs in place of turkey. However, this year, we were graciously invited to join our friends in Brockway (Spousal Unit's former Roommate & Family, henceforth abbreviated as the "SURF") to celebrate Thanksgiving, and it was an all American feast!

The celebratory meal involved the Mrs and I and three generations of our hosts' family! SURF-mom got up and started cooking before sunrise, even though she was battling a cold. The turkey was cooked slow and low, was honestly the best turkey I've ever had!

What can be more American than Thanksgiving with turkey and stuffing, gravy, coleslaw, sweet potato casserole, mash potatoes and dinner rolls?!

The feast began a little after noontime, which I thought was a brilliant idea because it gave one less time to spoil one's feasting appetite than the stereotypical dinnertime feast. It also gives you more time to eat, nap, go for a walk and tour of town, recover, and eat some more!

The table talk was also fun and entertaining! SURF-grandpa told us that each of the four B-29 engines (which individually produced 2200hp at takeoff) only used four steel bolts to install and shared some humorous stories about his time in Okinawa.

For dessert, SURF-grandma made two pies, a cinnamon pumpkin pie and a minced meat pie. I attacked both with gusto, and the minced meat pie was particularly good with Sailor Jerry's Spiced Rum!

Our host also made a red, white and blue surprise jello to celebrate my naturalization! The red layer included yummy strawberries, the white was a composite layer created from lemon jello and vanilla ice cream, and the blue was blueberries! It was yummy and disappeared without a trace before the day was done!

We spent the remainder of the evening chatting, drinking tea, watching Galaxy Quest (in which Adrian Monk was always eating) and an episode of the BBC's The Supersizers!

All in all it was the most memorable Thanksgiving yet!

Stay tuned for the part two writeup of our pilgrimage to St. Mary and a celebration of  Brockway pizza!

Tremble and Weep Yinz. Tremble and Weep.

Let it be known that I can now commit felonies with no fear of deportation. 

Oh and I bought a new watch! It is a Citizen BM8180-03E, which is the entry model of the light powered Eco-Drive powered watches that ought to stay ticking for at least a quarter of a century without a battery replacement. If we ever have kids, I intend to pass this watch to the future generation. 

The Quartz time keeping has been perfect so far, and has stayed accurate to within a second of the US National Institute of Standards and Technology's atomic clock after over a month of ownership.

Pittsburgh Grand Prix!

These are pictures from the Pittsburgh Grand Prix from the end of July. I've been sitting on these pictures because I didn't really know what to say - except that we had a lot of wine, cheese, and listened to a lot of cars go vroom vroom. A good afternoon in July.

Audi R8. The last Audi Le Mans Prototype that wasn't a diesel.

Old school air-cooled Porsche!

Hitler's gift to the automotive world.

I could not locate any pot in this VW Microbus.

Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG.

This car is about 3 times the average home value in the Pittsburgh area.

Celebrating America! (Part II)

On the 4th of July, we were off to a busy start! The Spousal Unit (SU) participated in the Brockway Firecracker 10k. The SU says the field was pretty intense, but the course was scenic around the town.

The only police cruiser in town leading the field! You know you live in safe parts when there's only one police cruiser and it is being used to lead a 10k!

The girl in the stroller was going yay the whole time. The mom may not be the fastest runner, but she has got heart.

We enjoyed some Sheetz coffee while the SU ran, and following the run (the SU did great! probably a personal best time for the 10k!), we went to lunch/dinner at the home of the SU's roommate's family friends (SURFF).

The SURFF had a really awesome garden, with wonderful and yummy looking produce, hops, and flowers!

We then went to a library book sale, followed by a car show! There were many beautiful classic cars, even some ricers with absurd spoilers! I thought the folding backseats/luggage boot was a nice touch! There was also a brand new Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG, which I would have gotten a picture of if the owners didn't seem like douche bags.

Later in the day, we went to the 4th of July parade!

The Village Voices sounded pretty good!

These people really like the Preamble to the US Constitution, the Bible, and tea.

Porta-Potties make modern American life possible!

These guys, the Kittanning Firemens Band were genuinely awesome. Old school & playing it like it is supposed to sound.

 

 

Unfortunately, we could not stay for fireworks because it was a Monday we needed to return to the 'Burgh for the Tuesday workday (and I'm getting old and can't function on 4 hours of sleep and work 10 hours anymore). But I'd imagine it was an epic show? Like our prior visits, this visit to Brockway was awesome. Our hosts, as always were welcoming and a delight, and visiting Brockway always makes this foreigner wish he was born in the US of A (which I think is quite apropos for the 4th of July). Chalk a +1 for another Americana experience!